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|The Theology School I Was Looking For|
|Author : Mahanaim Date Posted:2011-03-31 12:36:38 Views:967|
1st Class Sun Woo Park
Earlier this year, with the heart of wanting to learn more, I looked into some theology schools. I
heard about the Mahanaim Cyber College and felt this school was more fitting for me than any
other schools. And since I had always had an interest in learning about the bible I saw this as
a great opportunity and therefore I applied with a heart to learn spiritual life.
As I saw the brothers and sisters who returned from the Good News Corps volunteer program,
I wondered whether I too would become inactive like them. Even though I lived inside the
church, before I even knew it I had become inactive in the church. Although I had seen Jesus
working inside of my life and also received much grace, I realized that I was living life with a
heart that was different from God’s.
In the midst of all that, I entered into the Mahanaim Cyber College. At first when I listened to the
lectures I didn’t take them seriously. However, as I kept listening my desk was covered with
nothing but the lecture and notes. All the other things were cleared off and I could feel that I
was deeply drawn in. As I listened to the lectures, during the first semester final exams I
received grace and I had time to solely concentrate on the lecture and the exam. I truly felt
For the 2nd semester I made lecture notes and I didn’t do anything else during the lecture time
except concentrate on the lectures. Although the lectures were too much for me and hard to
listen to, as soon as I clicked on it, I had the heart of not wanting to miss out on 1 minute even
1 second of the lecture. I heart of wanting to take notes and listen to the full lecture arose
inside of me.
Before I would just vaguely preach the gospel; instead of referring to the bible I would tell them
what I had heard. And when I look back at my heart it was truly vague but when I listened to the
lecture – the lectures that I heard that day would remain in my heart all day long. I would
meditate upon those lectures and one by one as they would pile up in my heart, I would open
the bible and show it. I also felt my heart becoming organized whenever I read the bible.
Listening to each lecture made me feel as if I was going on a heart journey with people.
And giving everything for a sinner like me, this heart of Jesus was alive in them and like Jesus
they gave everything for the gospel. Other than the gospel everything else was unnecessary. I
saw inside of their hearts this same testimony of Apostle Paul. It’s not being for the gospel but
its living a life only for the gospel; not a life of my own but I could see it was a life given to the
As the lectures were continuing on, in my heart I clearly saw my thoughts and the results of
those thoughts. And as they were separated the words in my life were changed. Everything in
my life was now connected with God so I was able to accept it and think about it. I felt my life
changing. I was able to gain freedom; it felt as if something tangled was loosened. My words
changed and my posture before the word of God had changed.
As I was writing a report on repentance – it was the law that you could not write it with of heart
that has never repented before. As I meditated upon the words I saw myself in the words and I
accepted the promise made to me within the words. At first you feel around for God’s love and
remembering your first love and seeing myself to whom the promise was already fulfilled.
What I remember the most is in Systematic Theology lecture 37 “in Soteriology, the curse that
was to come upon us we turned it towards you and when I listen to the words of Jesus who
died for a person like me, I came to think deeply of this salvation once again. And in front of all
of Jesus’ love, which was put out for a person like me, my heart could only melt.
Salvation according to God, spiritual life according to God, myself according to God - I
reflected deeply on these things. After the two years of this theology school is over, I want to
start from the first year once again; starting and ending each day with the words is a blessing.
And just as the doves and ox in the temple where chased out, there in enjoyment and hope in
my heart which is renewed day by day.
I surely believe the works which are teaching me to become a person of Jesus and I gain
great hope. Even if I come across difficulties, I know it is needed to teach me and give me a
greater heart, so I am able to accept the difficulties with joy.